In Case You Forgot, Don Frye Is Awesome

First of all, the full clip is available over at IronForgesIron and I would highly recommend checking the whole deal out, this is but a taste. 

If you are reading this and don't know who Don Frye is and why he's awesome, than I'm not sure we can be friends. He's quite honestly one of the funniest people I've ever listened to, if you don't mind misogynistic and colorful language - and quite honestly, that's part of what humor is about. In any event, Danga over at CagePotato did a solid summary, so rather than pretend I'm funnier, please join me:

Today, we have the musings of Mustache King, life advice expert, and former UFC fighter Don Frye from yesterday’s Halloween themed episode of Inside MMA.

Donning the most appropriate Halloween costume imaginable in Magnum P.I., Frye provided us with more gems in a minute than most of us can come up with in a lifetime:

On retiring from MMA: "You get to the point where you retire after every match… the only person who’s retired more than me is Terry Funk."

On the general temperature of the Inside MMA set: "It’s a little cold in here. My lucky charms are freezing."

On a particularly nasty cut: "It looked like he was hiding underneath the bleachers of a tampon factory."

On attractive women: "…saw some girls so beautiful, I’d drag my pecker through a mile of broken glass just to stand in the shadow of the last guy that banged her."

On his epic mustache: "It takes me about an hour to shave it off each morning."

On other top mustaches: "You got Sean Connery… you got Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds, Sam Elliot, and I think old Nancy Grace has got a heady one there, too."

Really, the best line of all was

Tip o' the hat to CP and IFI for this joyful five minutes.